Carry Me Home
by MorrisGrad09
Summary: 3XK's escape changed Castle and Beckett's relationship on a fundamental level.  How will they deal with new feelings for each other when they're still in relationships with other people, and the stress of catching killers catches up with them?
1. Carry Me Home

So….Yeah. My first attempt at an M rated story. I think it's on the mild end of being an M story. Anway, be kind! Would appreciate feedback. This is totally unbetaed (I should go over it again before posting, but I wanted to get it out there for a few people - Kara! hahaha) Set after 3XK.

Dedicated to the ladies of Robotorgo. (If that doesn't sound like a dirty calendar in the making, I don't know what does.)

* * *

Castle closed and locked all the windows to the loft after the squad car had dropped him off at his home, triple checked that Alexis was sleeping soundly in her bed, and even went to peek inside Martha's room. They were asleep exactly where they were supposed to be, and the thought made him breathe a little easier.

There were four text messages on his iPhone from Gina; but he wasn't ready to talk yet. At least, not ready to talk to her. Every nerve in his body was still on edge from the experience, the words of the triple killer burned into his memory forever. He poured himself a drink in his study, wondering, as he looked out the window, if that son of a bitch was looking back at him.

He almost dropped his glass when he heard a soft knock at the door, and grabbed his phone to call Beckett at the first sign of trouble. He tiptoed from his office to the door, moving slowly to see who was standing outside. Castle let out a sigh of relief when he saw Beckett, and opened up the door. "Hi."

"Wine?" She asked, holding up the bottle with a small smile. "Someone very wise told me it's always good to decompress, and nothing decompresses like wine."

"How'd you know I'd still be awake?" He asked.

"Johnson gave me a call after they dropped you off. I figured with all the windows in this place it'd take you a while to check all of them, and I'll guess you've probably checked on Alexis at least three times, too."

"Right on the money." He said, leading her into his study.

"You don't deserve to be alone right now, either. So, I'm here as long as you need me. We can talk, you can fill me in on this new boyfriend Alexis has, or we can just sit here and drink this wine until you fall asleep." Beckett's nerves were still a little on edge, too, after the incident in the hotel room. She'd left Josh a message that she was pulling late duty doing paperwork, but he was on call for the weekend, anyway. A part of her didn't want to be alone quite yet, either.

Neither of them brought up their current relationship parters, though, as Castle poured two glasses of wine. "It was her boyfriend." He said. At Beckett's look of confusion, he elaborated. "The secret admirer I was telling you about. I was so afraid it was our triple killer, but it was actually Ashley."

"That's good." She said. "When you told me about it, I was skeptical, too. Part of me wanted to send a squad car down, but that probably would have scared her boyfriend even more than you scared him with that gun."

He chuckled. "Not my finest moment. Did she tell you about that?"

"She did."

They sat in silence for a few moments, before Castle tipped back the rest of his glass. "Does this feeling go away?"

She finished her glass, holding it out so he could refill hers after his own. "Tonight? Absolutely not. I could sugarcoat, lie, but you'd know better." Now it was her turn to reach for his hand and grasp it in her own. "A part of you already knows that. You won't be the same. You'll learn from it. You reassess what's important, who's important."

*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*

Two hours and two bottles of wine later, Castle and Beckett were sitting next to each other on the floor, leaning against his desk and laughing. About what? Castle wasn't even sure anymore. What he was sure of was the fact that for this little time, he wasn't afraid. A little tipsy, sure, with the combination of wine and Kate's presence fogging his consciousness.

"You doing all right, Castle?" Kate asked, waving a hand in front of his face.

"Yeah." He looked over at her. "Maybe it's time to try to sleep. We've had quite a bit of wine." He said as he gestured to the empty bottles.

"It's a good thing you can just decide to have the day off tomorrow." She said dryly. "Ryan, Esposito, and I have a date with some paperwork tomorrow. Captain Montgomery said we could come in in the afternoon, so I'm taking advantage of that."

"I think I'm going to keep Alexis home tomorrow. Maybe we'll go to the museum."

She smiled again, trying to situate herself to stand up after he did. "I think I might need a hand. Been sitting down here too long."

He stretched out a hand to pull her from the ground, and then used both to steady he when he pulled a little too hard. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the already impossibly closeness between their bodies, maybe it was all of that combined with the fact Castle had almost died earlier that night, but the energy in the room teemed with electricity.

The distance between them closed in a searing kiss, tongues dueling as they tried to devour the other. At the moment, this wasn't about romance. Emotional walls had been broken down that night, but the time to deal with that wasn't right now. This was about needing; needing to connect to another person on the most basic level, needing, for at least one night, to know that someone else had the same problems that you did.

Kate didn't know who started kissing who, but she did know that a part of her was screaming that this was wrong. Josh was probably saving a life right now, and here she was, not caring about the lack of oxygen in her system and trying to unbutton the shirt that Castle was wearing.

Castle had thought about locking lips with Beckett from their very first meeting three years ago. Back then, he envisioned a random hookup, and right now, he envisioned anything but that. However, his body had other ideas and his arms were moving to pull her shirt up and over her head. Their lips parted to only allow clothes to be taken off, and another moment where they stared into each others eyes again, connecting over their experiences of the night.

It was as if talking was going to break the spell over the two as Castle led her through the other door of his study to the bedroom, but it was here that he got his first real chance to look at Kate Beckett. She'd changed her clothes since the hotel, and right now she was in a simple white cotton bra and blue jeans. A part of her look vulnerable, but at the same time, she was the strongest person Castle knew.

She made short work of his own blue jeans, and he in turn flipped her over so he could pull hers off as well. His lips sought out her neck, tracing light kisses down her collarbone, and then down her body as he savored her taste. Josh was the last thing on her mind as his mouth closed around one nipple, and his hand teased the other. There was a line of fire in her body from where Castle had touched, and she had a hard time remembering the last time she felt like this.

He loved feeling her hands play with his hair, and didn't ignore her when she started to tug up on his hair. They stared at each other again before Castle leaned in for a slower kiss, taking his time to explore her mouth. She was completely naked in front of him, and he had more questions about her than ever. Kate Beckett would never cease to be a mystery; she would always leave him wanting to know more.

She had her time to play with him, letting her hands roam his body and her lips following suit. She found a sweet spot on his shoulders that she payed extra attention to, enjoying the gasps of pleasure that slipped out of his mouth. They fit; more than she ever thought they would, and the feeling was incredible. It was an unspoken rule that they'd be using some kind of birth control; Beckett was relieved when Castle seemed to be on the same page as she was.

Castle kissed both cheeks and her forehead before finally capturing her lips again, slowly sliding into her body as he did so. He could feel Beckett bite his lip in response, and he tightened his arms around her. Time seemed to stop as they moved in synch with one another, hands and hearts reaching out, touching, and exploring.

For one moment in time, two people could forget, and just be. They would have to deal with another set of challenges and the consequences of their actions tomorrow, but that was a day away and right now, consequences didn't matter. For one night, life didn't exist outside of a certain two story loft in the middle of New York City.

* * *

So, there it is! Hope you liked it.

(I'm not asking you to vote for me when I do this, I'm just doing some friends a favor. They've worked pretty hard on this.) Anyway...

-Nominate your favorite authors/stories in the first annual Castle FanFic awards! castleficawards(dot)wordpress(dot)com/ Nominations close on the 29th!


	2. Never Be What You Want

AN: Carry Me Home was actually meant to be just a one and done piece-an experiment to see if I could write something like that. Then so many of you signed up for a story alert...I felt obligated to go on. As I sit here, looking at this blank Pages document, I really don't know what direction this chapter is going to take. Don't hate me?

And, that picture. For those of you who may not have seen it, I won't go into further detail, but it does bring up the interesting topic of repercussions and consequences, something I'm really interested in exploring now. So, I think this just became a full blown story. There's no smut in this part, but if my muse plays dirty, there will be some in the next part.

There's also a thinly veiled BSG reference. I had a good chuckle after I wrote it, so I hope you do too.

* * *

**_"We can evade reality, but we cannot evade the consequences of evading reality." Ayn Rand_**

Even though she didn't have to go back to the precinct until the afternoon to finish up the paperwork, Beckett made a date with a punching bag in the gym. Was she really just that stupid? She let a little wine and an adrenaline rush get her into bed with Castle. Something in her judgement was seriously compromised.

Her Palm Pre rang as she walked through the door of her apartment, and part of her dreaded looking at the screen for fear that it might be Castle, trying to call her after discovering her absence. With almost the same amount of dread, she saw that it was Josh. "Hey."

"Hi!" It was the middle of the night, and he'd been operating all day, but he still managed to sound like it was maybe three in the afternoon. "Are you okay, Kate? They said on the news that a cop was injured trying to apprehend that triple killer guy."

"He knocked Ryan around a little bit, but he's okay."

"But you're okay, though? I've got someone who can cover for me if you don't want to be alone." He said, his worry for her obvious over the phone.

"I wouldn't be much company. I'm going to take a shower and fall into bed."

He didn't speak for a moment, which made her wonder if he was still on the line. "Okay. Page me if you need me, and I'll be there. No questions asked. Are you going in tomorrow?"

"Paperwork, and then I should be home." His 'no questions asked' statement threw her brain for a momentary loop, but she tried to stay active in the conversation. No questions asked? Sleeping with Castle probably wasn't covered under that.

"I'll call you, and then pick up some burgers and cheesecake from Skylight. We'll have a night in, watch some movies."

"That sounds fine." She said, trying not to let the edge she felt in her system seep into her voice.

"Okay." Josh suddenly sounded distant, and Kate heard another voice in the background. "Kate? I've got to run. I love you."

She was glad he was in a hurry as the call ended a split second later; glad because she wasn't sure she could have returned the sentiment.

"What the hell are you doing?" She said to the empty room. "Put your head on straight." It had been good; she couldn't deny that. But it couldn't happen again. It was as easy as that.

She'd been about to open to Castle once already this year, only to have that crumble around her in flames. She wasn't ready to do that again, and if this went on, it would only end badly. The only option? To stop it now, before Castle got any crazy ideas. Or could tweet about it.

########

Kate was gone the next morning, the side of the bed she occupied cold and there was no sign of any of her clothes. Hoping she was taking a page out of Nikki Heat's book, he dressed and walked into his study, where he ran into Alexis, but not Kate. "Hey you." He said.

"Hi Dad." She was scanning bookshelves, obviously looking for something in particular. "Do you have your autographed copy of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy here? Ash wants to see it when he comes over tonight."

"It's in the safe. What time is it?" He asked, his eyes trying to focus on the clock on the wall.

"Not quite ten. You still hadn't gotten home when I went to sleep, so Gram and I tried not to disturb you. Beckett called this morning and told us what happened and to keep an eye on you."

He relished the feel of the hug Alexis gave him. Beckett called? That must have meant she left in the middle of the night with no one to watch her go. "I'm a lot better now that I get to spend the day with you." He said with a smile.

"Is Beckett okay? Gram said she didn't sound quite right on the phone."

He took his turn to hug her. "This was one bad guy we couldn't catch."

########

Normally, an outing to the Central Park Zoo was a field day for Castle, but he couldn't stop fidgeting with his phone as he and Alexis journeyed through the exhibits. Gina finally stopped trying to call; she'd just sent an empathetic text saying to call her when he was ready to talk about it. He desperately wanted to see the cover of Heat Wave flash on the screen, to hear from Beckett, and at least know she didn't run off and marry that other guy when he was still sleeping.

"No more Battlestar Galactica for me." He muttered under his breath.

"Daaaaad." Alexis said, waving her hand in front of his face. "Earth to Dad!" She called again

He shook his head, taking him out of his daydream. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering where you were off to." She said. "You're usually right up against the rails when we get to the penguins, trying to jump in with them. Are you still thinking about last night?" She asked.

"A little. But, a day out with my favorite girl is the cure for all that ails. How's that new camera of yours working out?" He asked, gesturing to the small, pink digital camera that he had given her before the Taylor Swift concert.

"It's so great!" She said with a grin. "You want to take a break and see some of the pictures from today? We can grab a smoothie and you can tweet about the amazing time you're having with me."

"That sounds perfect. Lead on."

########

"Hold the elevator!"

The last thing that Kate wanted to do was hold the elevator for the owner of that voice, but not was as good of a time as any to lay down the ground rules of how things were going to be from now on. She stuck her arm out to stop the doors from moving, letting Castle join her in the small space. "Hi." He said, catching his breath.

"Castle." She returned evenly as the doors closed. It had been two days since their night together in the loft, and they'd gotten another case last night, which caused her to leave Castle a message.

This promised to be the longest elevator ride ever, and in between floors she hit the emergency stop button. "Your loft should have never happened." She said sternly. "And as far as I'm concerned, it didn't. You're still with your ex-wife, and I'm still with Josh. That's as far as this goes. It was nothing more than wine and exhaustion."

On his way here, he'd rehearsed what he was going to say to her; the impassioned, eloquent soliloquy where he was going to convince her that this was going to be worth it in the end if she'd just give it a chance, but as he looked into her eyes from his side of the elevator, he forgot all the words and couldn't come up with any more. "I was going to say the same thing." He said, and he could have sworn he heard his voice crack.

"Good."

An uneasy truce reached, she hit the button to make the elevator resume its path to the precinct. Another murder awaited; another person demanded answers that just couldn't wait.

* * *

Ending Notes: If it seems like they're getting off a little too lightly, don't worry. I have a plan! Hahaha. I'm of the camp that something like this can't happen between two people with obvious chemistry without huge repercussions to their already existent relationship.

The next part involves changing one of the outcomes in "Murder Most Fowl," and while that means the situation gets sad, it also leaves room for some more dramatic development.

Now that Nano's done, I should be able to work on this story more than I was able to in November. Thank you all for your continued support!


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